Happy Birthday, Shikamaru
by FastForward
Summary: Oneshot for Shika's birthday :3


**© 2006** **FastForward **

**A/N: I've been replying to reviews, but FF has been freaky lately and I know I'm not getting all the reviews, because I'll come on the site and see that I have more reviews than I was emailed for, so if you asked a question, I DID answer it. I just don't know when you'll get it :sweatdrop:**

**Disclaimer: Shikamaru may not be mine, but just for today... I think K. Masashi will find it in his heart to lend me Kiba. Just for today, though. I promise to give him back tomorrow :3**

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**Happy Birthday, Shikamaru.**

"Damn, troublesome woman." Shikamaru grumbled as he stood in the kitchen, chopping vegetables. "I can't believe you're making me do this."

"Oh, suck it up, you damn pansy. I'm not doing all the work, fuck." was the annoyed reply. A person could only take so much complaining before losing their patience.

"It's my birthday." Shikamaru grumbled. "I could be out staring at clouds right now."

"But instead, you're helping me out, like you're supposed to be doing. My, how appropriate." The redhead turned to Shikamaru with a grin.

"Yeah, yeah." he grumbled. "You still have the easier job."

"I'm sorry, but chopping vegetables is a lot easier than making a fucking cake from scratch, all right! I'd trade you, but you'd ruin it, fuck."

Shikamaru just sighed. There was no point in arguing, he knew he wouldn't win. If he was going to win, he wouldn't been gone four hours ago. But no. Instead, he was here, in her kitchen, chopping vegetables. Why had it come to this?

"Aha!" The redhead threw her fists in the air, causing Shikamaru to turn around. "Masterpiece, don't you think?" She motioned the cake. The lazy nin raised an eyebrow before sighing and returning to chopping vegetables lazily.

"Troublesome." he muttered.

"You know, if you stopped chopping the carrots one at a time at the speed of a snail, you _might_ actually get this done before I need to use them." She rolled her moss green eyes in annoyance, leaning against the counter beside him.

"Here, _you_ do it, then." He held the knife out to her.

"I don't think so." She cocked an eyebrow. "You're the one who was assigned this job."

"Yeah, by _you_!"

"Still." She yawned before stretching. "I cleaned the place, and made the cake, and sent out the invites, and set the table. I'm also gonna be the one cooking. You only have one job, and you've been working on it since you got here four hours ago. It's not _my_ fault you're taking your sweet ass time, fuck." She tilted her head from side to side, cracking her neck. Shikamaru sighed, wanting nothing more than to just leave, but he knew he wouldn't make it two steps out of the kitchen before he found a kunai shoved somewhere it really shouldn't be.

The front door slammed open and Naruto ran in, bouncing on the spot by the kitchen door. The two in the kitchen looked out at him before cocking an eyebrow.

"I got excited!" he exclaimed, throwing both hands in the air. "Food! Cake! _Ramen_!"

"For the _last time_, Naruto, there will be _no_ ramen!" Shikamaru could see one of her eyebrows twitching, a sure sign she was getting annoyed.

"Aw, you're just teasing me." He poked her in the stomach, a squeak emitting from her mouth before she grabbed his hand and twisted it. Naruto let out a cry. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"

"I am _not_ your personal squeak-toy!" she snapped angrily. "If you insist on doing that to me every time you see me, I'm going to blow up Ichiraku!"

"No!" Naruto wailed. "I'm sorry! No more! I promise!"

"Good." She let him go. "Now bugger off. We're not done yet." Her hand slammed out to the side, nearly nailing Shikamaru in the face, who'd begun to try and escape while she'd been distracted. "You're not leaving this house until those vegetables are chopped."

"You're such a birthday-nazi." Shikamaru grumbled before turning back to the vegetables.

"Nothing wrong with wanting to have a good birthday, dammit! Naruto, get your fingers out of the cake!"

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Shikamaru was tired, and annoyed. He hadn't been able to stare at the clouds all day because of the damn 'birthday-nazi,' as he'd started calling her, and now, everyone was over so he wasn't allowed to leave. Granted, they were there for the party, and the food had been good, but now that he was full and all his presents had been opened—why was he still here? Couldn't he _go_ already? It wasn't like they had anything _else_ planned for the damn evening. 

"Hey Shika?" The lazy nin turned, only to have a piece of cake thrown into his face. He stood motionless for a few seconds as the birthday-nazi laughed. "Happy birthday, you lazy fuck!"

Shikamaru wiped the cake away with one hand before launching it back, hitting her in the side of the head as she turned to avoid it. "Yeah, happy birthday to you, too, Sarge. Even though you don't deserve it."

"I know." Sarge grinned, waggling her eyebrows. "I'ma go get me some Kiba." She turned around, skipping playfully towards the living room. "Oh Kiiiiiiiiiba!"

**END.**

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A/N: I turned twenty today... I feel old compared to Shika, who turned either sixteen or seventeen. Happy birthday, Shika :smiles:**

**© 2006** **FastForward **


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